This page continues my tongue-in-cheek look the world of the automobile.
My writings are in black. Plagiarized text is in maroon, sometimes highlighted by me in red.
Go Home.
1. It's especially important in winter, with its snow and ice, to obey the signs. Otherwise you might have to bear the consequences. http://community.webshots.com/photo/29250651/29250654UycVufOpon
2. Of course, if you come to a traffic light, you will know what to do, will you not? What could be simpler? http://www.amusingpics.com/viewimage.php?id=231&file=stop.jpg
3. signalfan.com: http://www.signalfan.com/ ___ Sign Language: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/6616/
4. The first one of the following signs reminded me of a sign we saw once in Houston, Texas: 'Observe all traffic signs'. http://www.hogsett.com/galleries/weirdsigns.htm
5.Traffic signs should give you clear directions, should they not? Here is one, which I translate to mean Work in progress. To go to or by the right, keep to the left. Incroyable? http://community.webshots.com/photo/29250651/29250672CXjZXkQmSI
6. Here's a fellow who either did not pay enough attention to the above sign, or did not know quite enough French. He thought it referred to parallel parking, mon Dieu! http://community.webshots.com/photo/27454915/27500415tyzGuepnJV
7. Remember, that when signs point to some of the indigenous wildlife to be seen in a scenic area, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. http://community.webshots.com/photo/27454915/28396415jzQTTfixtZ
8. Nuclei on the move. http://www.spicyhumor.com/nuclear_safety.html
9. Bow wow. http://www.spicyhumor.com/no_dogs_allowed.html
10a. The rain in these parts falls all the way down to the ground! Who would have thought? http://www.spicyhumor.com/dumb_sign.html
10b. Maybe some do take these warnings a bit too seriously? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=564
11. Hide and seek? http://www.spicyhumor.com/find_the_hidden_entrance.html
12. Just how secret can it be? http://www.spicyhumor.com/its_a_secret.html
13. A down-to-earth question of literacy? http://www.spicyhumor.com/why_is_literacy_important.html
14. Don't mess with Texas! http://www.spicyhumor.com/hitchhiker_sign.html
15. Redneck territory. http://www.spicyhumor.com/redneck_territory.html
16. More than a drop in the bucket? I would say so! http://www.spicyhumor.com/lane_drop_ahead.html
17. As for shopping (or shoplifting?) for CDs while on the road? You could have done that from home. http://community.webshots.com/photo/30981394/30981512dhUMsBjFHL
18. As for real shoplifting, think twice. http://www.amusingpics.com/viewimage.php?id=141&file=shoplifters.jpg
19. Nervous neighborhood? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=632
20. Is there no balm in Gilead? No place to rest one's weary bones? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=612
21. Truth in advertising! http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=486
22. Are breathing and walking still allowed? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=447
23. I've heard that handicaps in golf can be tough, but . . . http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=15
24. Higher aspirations? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=22
25. What? No SpellChecker? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=47 ___ http://www.funnysnaps.com/isopt.html
26. Keep right? http://www.laughparty.com/item.php?tid=2&id=655&sort=title
27. __ a. Next 4 miles. http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?id=4&image=7113&cid=115&eid=5093&view=
_____ b. Many more. http://www.worth1000.com/stories/contest.asp?reset=1&contest_id=115&view=&g=1
28. Stop stopping? http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/parking.jpg
29. Justice delayed is justice denied? http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/11.jpg
1. Competitive couriers. http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=567
2. Hare today, gone tomorrow -- sadly, enough. And Goldilock's home was only just around the next bend. http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=11
3. A good place for an off-road vehicle to be, I'd say! http://www.funnysnaps.com/ioops.html
4. Even you -- Mr. Policeman, sir -- should watch out for low-flying aircraft! http://www.funnysnaps.com/iphotoplane.html
5. "Nah, it wasn't enough to kill me. Bruised the car a bit, though". http://www.car-accidents.com/pages/accident_story/8-22-01-festiva.html
6. There are times -- although, not many -- when it does not pay to stop at a red light, especially if a cement truck is coming. Now, it's not just a Honda Accord -- it's a Honda Accordian. http://www.car-accidents.com/pages/accident_story/8-5-01.html
7. What a way to treat a Mercedes! http://www.car-accidents.com/pages/accident_story/7-5-01_mercedes.html
8. You really shouldn't be driving if you're too high. http://www.car-accidents.com/pages/accident_story/7-5-01.html
9. "Well. at least I didn't miss the boat!". http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/woman5.jpg
10. The sign on the bus says it all! http://www.aros.net/~mstahnky/humor/Wrecks/Bus%20Accident.jpg
1. Wayside wonderment. http://www.spicyhumor.com/the_wonderbra.html
2. Panty remover. http://www.spicyhumor.com/liquid_panty_remover.html
3. No, don't even ask what they sell! http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=631
4. If you see this dog . . . http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=627
5. Not too keen on some aspects of life at the beach? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=576
6. Honesty -- to a fault? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=554
7. What was missing here was the advice of a font of knowledge about fonts! http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=460
8. Lonely? Seeking understanding Taliban? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=306
9. a. Revenge. http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?id=3&image=3763&cid=76&eid=1810&view=
__b. Be all that you can be. http://www.worth1000.com/view.asp?id=8&image=3770&cid=76&eid=1816&view=
__c. Many more. http://www.worth1000.com/stories/contest.asp?reset=1&contest_id=76&view=&g=1
1. Further to this question of language, and travelling in a different country, is that your very appearance might set you apart for special attention. It is best to be confident, but polite. http://community.webshots.com/photo/34168650/34168725CIsVcO
2. Travelling in a different legal jurisdiction can also have its surprises -- especially if you are an Arkansas traveler. http://www.amusingpics.com/viewimage.php?id=134&file=arkansas.jpg
3. Experienced travelers realize that there are times when one must abandon their beloved car, and proceed by local transport. http://www.spicyhumor.com/all_aboard.html ___ http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=157
4. If Firestone made . . . http://www.spicyhumor.com/if_firestone_made_condoms.html
1. Try not to become too distracted while driving.http://www.visualjokes.com/showpic.php?133 (N. boy.) ___ http://www.spicyhumor.com/will_code_for_food.html ___ http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/pictures/bizarre/bizarre022.htm
2. Teach our kids. http://www.spicyhumor.com/teach_our_kids.html
3. If you are determined enough to see subliminal images, you can scare yourself silly by just taking a walk! Road demon. http://paranormal.about.com/library/blgallery6.htm
4. Best car paint-job. http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/paintjob.jpg
1. Crop circles near the Kingdom of Redmond. http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=310
2. If you really must be a conductor, do try to be a musical one -- not an electrical one. http://www.funnysnaps.com/ipole.html
3. Would a 45-calibre stamp be enough? http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/postal.jpg (Phoenix, AZ.)
1. Yo queiro Taco Bell, senor? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=483
2. It's never too early to clamp down on those biker gangs! http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=41
3. Species profiling? "Don't tell me you were on the way to the market!". http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/piggy.jpg
1. The law covers all occupants. http://www.spicyhumor.com/against_the_wall.html
2. Not all patrol cars look alike. http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=642
3. A portent of quick justice? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=582
1. If you just must stop for a beer along the way, remember to have only one for the road -- only one. Of course, it might be just possible that the size of the drink can depend upon local custom . . . http://www.amusingpics.com/viewimage.php?id=376
2. Doctor's advice. http://www.spicyhumor.com/a_glass_a_day.html
3. If you really must drink and drive, . . . http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=464
4. At this place, you might need three beers! http://www.spicyhumor.com/bad_restaurant.html
5. What -- no pharmacy on site? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=581
6. If Dad raised the kids! http://www.spicyhumor.com/boozer_babies.html
7. That reminds me, Juan Valdez:
___ a. Is that really your wife? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=40
___ b. Your girlfriend? http://www.laughparty.com/item.php?tid=2&id=768&sort=title
8. With hunger setting in, you're starting to look for those golden arches at about noon -- or is that just a puff dream? http://www.amusingpics.com/viewimage.php?id=137&file=marijuan.gif
9. Is pot legal now? http://www.spicyhumor.com/is_pot_legal.html
10. Hillary special at KFC. http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=152
11. Enjoyed your meal, did you? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=10
1. Time to trade it in? http://www.free-time.ru/humor/photos/auto/39.html
2. Offshore used car? http://www.dobhran.com/humor/GRhumor637.htm
1. Choose a spot with ample space. http://www.spicyhumor.com/the_law_prevails.html ___ http://www.spicyhumor.com/tight_parking.html ___ http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/pictures/bizarre/bizarre023.htm
2. Park only if you don't need to! http://www.spicyhumor.com/drive-thru_service_only.html
3. Don't park too closely on a very windy day. http://www.spicyhumor.com/drunk_drivers_united.html
4. And just what kind of dispensation might this infraction entail, pray tell? http://www.angelfire.com/ny4/southforensics/fathertom.jpg ___ http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=589
5. Parking on stairwells is not recommended. The banisters can scratch the paint on the sides. http://www.funnysnaps.com/parking.jpg
6. That's not what we meant by angle
parking!
http://www.drunkbastard.net/photos/girldriv4.jpg
7. "No Sir, there's no double parking allowed on this side." http://www.aros.net/~mstahnky/humor/Wrecks/Backing%20Up%20Mistake%20%231.jpg
8. Don't drive into any little
pot-holes while parking:
http://www.visualjokes.com/showpic.php?27
9. Don't park near a cactus
that has had too much to drink!
http://www.free-time.ru/humor/photos/auto/33.html
10. Maybe it's better to park under a tree instead? http://www.aros.net/~mstahnky/humor/Wrecks/Fallen%20Tree%20on%20Mustang.jpg
11. Waiting for the Tide to go out before you can land a parking
spot?
http://www.free-time.ru/humor/photos/auto/48.html
12. PMS parking technique
Well, OK, if those suggestions for parking don't work, you might -- no, you just must -- take note of the following video. It offers a totally new and creative way to park your car. In fact, it adds a whole new meaning to the term parallel parking! On the following page, http://webpages.charter.net/bdube/humor.html, click on the image of a white car (about a one-quarter of a screen down) under the following heading:
PMS Parking
I know from time to time, that women seem to suffer from PMS. Why not put that pent up energy to use to park your car? Another man made mechanical device to cause you grief. Click the picture to start the stream.
My interpretation is that PMS stands for Punch Mercedes Sideways. A word of caution is in order. This technique will take a bit of practice. Try it on an older car first -- preferably someone else's.
11. Why can't you park this one
in left field? Because, even if you
park it in the right field, there isn't
any field left!
http://www.free-time.ru/humor/photos/auto/51.html
1. There could be several endings to our little saga -- not just one. http://www.visualjokes.com/showpic.php?211
2. Dead last? http://thehumorsource.com/picture.php?id=625
3. Second To Last page on the Internet: http://www.attrition.org/attrition/stl.html
4. The Homepage at the end of the Internet: http://www.nylon.net/thateoti/thateoti.htm
Go Home ___ Go to Car laughs main contents
You can e-mail me at waynerp@sympatico.ca
